Giving Thanks

Pastor Rick rides herd on the annual Thanksgiving Dinner at our local church. Everyone contributes somehow. He asked me to set up tables in the hall.

"Can you manage it by yourself?" Pastor Rick asked. "My back is sore."

"Sure." I hung up and went to the barn.

I was half-way through feeding the stock when it occurred to me that only people who sit all day have sore backs. Those of us who do things have aching backs. But you can't use that as an excuse.

The missus says someone's got to lead.

"Yeah," I agreed, "but why can't a man lead like a sled dog?"

"How's that, dear?"

"Leading..." I paused for dramatic effect...

"And pulling?" added the missus. She got the timing wrong.

"Yeah. And pullin'"

"You can't expect a man with three college degrees to hump tables." She looked exasperated and left to finish some task involving clatter in the kitchen.

I think this is the problem with many great enterprises today. People gentrify themselves so they become darn near useless. Not that the pastor is useless mind, but you'd never ask him to chain up a stump for pullin' or swing a sledge to set a fence post, or handle the hi-hoe to dig a foundation for the church annex.

No people start getting up-piddy as soon as they get a college degree. Work, and I mean labour, not pushing paper, is beneath them then. Even mowing a city lawn needs some new machine or someone else to do the work.

I asked a man from Celebration, Florida (a spit and a toss from Disney World) if he mowed his lawn. "No, no, no! My time's too valuable! I pay someone to do it! Besides, I have a sore back."

"Oh," I said. "That's a good solution if you have the cash."

"Yeah, it'd be great solution if he didn't always come during the football game!"

Well, that would boil my sap, too.



Back at the barn, Rustler dropped by. "Mr Stump, Pastor Rick wants me to gather up all the food that got donated and take it to the Sally Ann."

I felt another 'and' coming. "And," Ah, there it was. "I was wondering if I could borrow the truck."

"I thought you were going say you had a sore back and would I mind helping."

"No, sir! I just need the truck. I ain't had a sore back since I started working here."